[Saint-Valentin] « Pour vivre heureux, vivons cachés » : pourquoi la discrétion reste le meilleur allié de votre relation
In the age of Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Snapchat, love is sometimes lived in the spotlight. Romantic photos, intimate videos, public declarations: some couples share everything. Others, on the contrary, cultivate discretion.
Does exposure really make us happy? Does the saying "To live happily, live hidden" still make sense? Relationship coach Kiné Ndiaye analyzes the issues surrounding a phenomenon that has become unavoidable.
Today, some couples are very active on social media. Does this exposure really promote happiness?
Public exposure doesn't create happiness for a couple. On the contrary, it can sometimes mask real problems. Some couples maintain a perfect image to save face, while unresolved tensions silently fester. This emotional repression becomes a ticking time bomb. They put on a show for the public, until the day everything explodes.
Is the famous saying "To live happily, live hidden" still relevant?
The facts often speak for themselves. Many couples in high-profile situations end up separating. While exposure isn't necessarily the sole cause, it can reveal a pre-existing vulnerability. When the foundations are fragile, the slightest external pressure can cause everything to collapse.
How can discretion strengthen the balance of a couple?
The perfect couple doesn't exist. Disagreements and doubts are part of every relationship. Discretion offers a valuable advantage: the opportunity to resolve problems privately, without turning social media into a judge or mediator. Stability is built at home, in everyday life, away from screens.
Is it healthy or risky to regularly post photos, videos or personal details on social media?
What is published never truly disappears. Images and confidences can be misused, taken out of context, or even used for malicious purposes. What was meant to be an intimate memory can become a source of vulnerability.
In your opinion, where is the line between sharing and overexposure?
The line is crossed when sharing becomes almost instantaneous, as if the couple's life were being broadcast live, like a hidden camera. At this point, the couple is no longer living, they're broadcasting.
What are the main risks?
The danger arises when the couple begins to believe that ceasing to post is tantamount to ceasing to exist. They then seek to reassure others rather than themselves. Gradually, the couple becomes hostage to social media. External pressure builds, fuels jealousy and interference, and can even become a source of internal conflict.
Another, often underestimated, risk also comes into play: the projection of external frustrations. Some people, confronted with idealized images, project their own shortcomings or wounds onto the couple being portrayed. This can manifest as unhealthy comparisons, veiled judgments, repeated criticism, or even negative intentions. The couple then finds themselves exposed not only to social pressure but also to the emotional instability of others.
How can we find the balance?
The most important thing is the inner strength of the couple. The question isn't about forbidding all sharing, but about understanding why we share. Do we share to celebrate or to feel important? Do we post out of joy or a need for validation? Does your relationship need an audience to feel real? The strongest love isn't always the most visible.
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